The True You vs The Real You

The True You Knows What’s Best for You

The true you, really DOES want the best for you.

The part of you that knows you should work harder, try be more efficient with your time, more productive, save more money, invest, avoid debt, not to piss off the in-laws, don’t crash your car into a river, all that good stuff.

The true you knows you shouldn’t drink too much, smoke too much, drink too much coffee, stay up so late at night, or party so hard.

Starting a business, tracking progress, staying on track, focus on your goals… these are all ideas the true you might come up with.

The true you really does have some great, smart ideas!

If you only did things the true you suggested, you’d be a squillionaire by now.

The problem is, the true you isn’t always the one in charge.

Sometimes the other side of you wins.

The side I call the ‘real’ you.

The Real You Knows What’s Good for You

What’s best for you, is all well and good, but it might not necessarily be what’s good for you. 

I mean, what’s best for you isn’t always fun, right?

It’s also really good to relax sometimes. Blow off some steam, or maybe even just… do, nothing at all ‘for once in your life’.

Spending time playing with your kids might not be the best for your financial situation, or your work ethic, but it’s great for the soul, and your family.

Loving, laughing, living. Going to the beach, eating pizza, and drinking ice cold beer around a fire might not exactly fulfil your goals. But sometimes the smell of the ocean, a fire, a beer, and a few good friends really can’t be beaten.

It’s okay to kick-back and let loose. 

The truth is, you still NEED it, no matter what the true you, money twitter, the latest famous motivational speaker, or internet money guru you just listened to, says about it.

The real you… …they’re your wingman. 

They’ve got your back.

Eagerly waiting in the sidelines, ready to go whenever you need them.

And unfortunately, sometimes when you don’t need them, too.

Too Much of Either is a Bad Thing

Kick back too much, spend too much money, buy too much crap, eat too much bad food, and pretty you’ll soon begin to feel the consequences of the real you’s influence.

Your health, weight, energy, bank balance, and wallet, ALL begin to suffer, if you’ve been ‘keeping it real’ a little too often.

Likewise, working hard, staying ‘consistently focused’, without any days off or breaks at all, will fill your bank account with cash. It will pack your schedule full of things to do and bring your projects massive amounts of progress.

But it also sometimes fills your heart with sadness, loneliness, and a longing to have fun again. 

Sooner or later you’re at risk of feeling burned out, highly stressed, gaining weight, or even developing severe health or mental issues.

Okay… …so if neither one is good for you, then the answer is maintaining a healthy balance, right?

WRONG!

Balance is Bad, too!

‘Maintaining a balance’ is exactly what gets you (and keeps you) stuck, in the first place!

The words ‘maintaining a balance’ state it VERY CLEARLY! It’s maintenance!

Keeping things running smoothly, exactly the same way.

Balance is a stalemate… …exactly NET ZERO.

Not changing anything at all.

You’re maintaining a balance, just like you always do.

For every step forward, you cancel it out with a step backwards, to make sure everything stays EXACTLY THE SAME.

Absolutely NOTHING changes when you maintain a balance. 

You’re stuck doing busy-work, keeping the company you work for and the economy going, rich people get rich, poor people stay poor, you get neither one. 

You just about figure out where you’re going wrong… …but soon enough, there you are all over again, back in the same place, same situation, going nowhere.

Balanced.

Stand in the Middle, and be Average

I know what you’re thinking already….

…It’s something along the lines of:

If too much of either side is bad for you, but maintaining a ‘work-life balance’ is ALSO bad for you, then you just can’t win, right? 

We’re all fucked. 

Might as well stay fucked. 

Maybe success isn’t even FOR ‘people like you and me’.

The GREAT thing about this is… …you couldn’t be more wrong!

Don’t be too hard on yourself, though. This kind of thinking is a trap that far too MANY people fall into. 

This is the realm within which ‘average people’ are created.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with being an ‘average person’, either.

Average people make up the majority of the population, almost anywhere in the world

The chances are though, if you’re on this website reading this blog post, an average life is NOT what you’re aiming for. 

Me, either.

If You’re Happy Being Average, This Site’s not for You

Perfectly happy living an average life, balanced, maintaining, and staying where you’re at? That’s absolutely okay! If you’re happy, that’s great. I genuinely and sincerely want that, for absolutely everyone.

This website is probably not for you, though.

So, if that’s you, you can stop reading, and go back to whatever it was you were doing before you found me.

But, if an average life is NOT for you, and you’re interested in making your life BETTER, (whether that means earning more money, or being successful in ANY way at all) keep reading.

This Website is Here to Help You Get Unstuck

This blog is here to help anyone feeling stuck in their lives, get unstuck, and to become successful.

Here, I show you exactly how to move forwards and get out of that bullshit life, with fast, easy, effective changes.

You’ll make progress, find success, and have freedom to live your life any way you want to.

If you’ve only just stumbled across this blog, and this all sounds good to you, go ahead and download my free introductory eBook. It’s about the basic No More Net Zeros mindset shift that will change the way you think, and your life, forever… …and it’s 100% free.

Download it right now, then come back to read the rest of this article…

…okay, now that you’ve done that, you’re still here, you’ve passed the first test!

So, let’s get back to the war between the true you, and the real you.

The War of The True You vs. The Real You

When the real you’s been enjoying yourself just a little too much, spending money, having a great time, partying…

…the true you’s the one waking you up off the bathroom floor, headache pills and a huge cup of coffee at the ready, cooking breakfast.

The true you’s there to help you pick up your shit, and put you back together, whenever you’re broken and upset.

It fights through Monday morning traffic, late nights at work, gets you over ‘hump-day’, and into the weekend.

The Real You’s Cool, Though

The real you’s the one that stays up late with a friend that’s upset, because they need you. Your kind, loveable, hug your friends, and dote over your favorite pet, side. 

The one that knows there’s nothing better than snuggling up with your cat and a bottle of wine, watching a sad movie on Netflix on a Thursday night.

It’s the one who’s heart melts for your 10-year-old daughter, watches football games with the wife, goes to a friend’s wedding, and holds a dying relative’s hands, as they’re saying goodbye.

The real you also hang out at bars with friends and parties, take risks, and has a lot of fun doing it all.

The truth is you need all these things. 

Just as much as you need income to pay the bills, a retirement plan, insurance, and reliable transportation. 

It’s exactly why there’s a constant conflict.

This is the ‘war of self’, that we ALL struggle with. 

One that’s been raging for centuries inside every single adult human being.

Every, single, day.

So, let’s look at a few ways you can win this war, for your own success, and benefit.

Solid Disciplined Action

One way to win this war, is to just beat the real you through discipline, scheduling, forming good habits, and indulging the true you in every way possible.

It includes:

• Taking action on all your plans
• Working long hours
• Remaining focused
• Writing a plan
• Focusing on your goals, and… 
• …taking daily action 

If the above reads like a motivational poster, it was supposed to.

The only problem you might find with this approach, is if you’re already dealing with the war of self, it would take a complete personal transformation, to become this way.

Intense Discipline Works Well, Short Term

The intense disciplined, cyborg approach really works great sometimes. But, usually only for short periods of time. 

It’s entirely possible to be extremely disciplined for short term projects. 

Something that only takes a total of a few weeks, or months? No problem. 

You get motivated, get stuck in, and smash it out.

The problem is, after all that hard work, the real you is literally foaming at the mouth, ready to go.

You just can’t wait to break free again.

Why New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work

Unless you’re some kind of robotic sub-human automaton, sooner or later you could find you can’t wait to get out and have some fun. 

All you want to do is see your family, suck down a few beers, or maybe just sit around and feel the sun on your face, listening to music for a while.

These are all natural, normal human wants, that need to be satisfied.

The problem is discipline works both ways. Your discipline can flip like a switch, right into trying to relax more.

This makes it harder to then ‘just jump right back in’ to the ultra-disciplined life again. It’s too much of an instant change, with no true habits formed to back it up.

Ever wondered why New Year’s Resolutions don’t work out? 

This is exactly why. 

It’s not realistic to believe you can change instantly, and become a completely different person overnight.

You tricked the real you for a while, but then it’s back with a vengeance, trying to correct, and bring balance back again..

All this does is fuel the internal conflict even more.

The ultra-disciplined approach, for me, is an act of war against the real me.

I personally prefer what I refer to as, the ‘Successful Balance’.

The Successful Balance

If a balanced life is a Net Zero, then tipping the balance just slightly in your favor, without feeling out of balance at all, can work out a lot better.

To do this you need the balance to be ever-so-slightly tipped towards success at all times.

As you know from the disciplined approach, tipping the balance too far in one direction, can cause the other side to fight back.

The ‘success balance’ approach, relies on tipping the balance in the favor of success, but still allows the real you to have fun, too.

All you need to do is tip the balance just a tiny bit, to live a permanently successful life.

Here’s the way it works…

The Seesaw Effect

Imagine a kid’s playground. Right in the middle of that playground is a seesaw / teeter totter (I’m British, so I tend to call it a seesaw).

Picture yourself standing in the middle of that seesaw, facing along the length of it, looking towards the ned, where someone could be sitting. 

Your feet are in front of you, and behind you, keeping it balanced. 

This is net zero… …focused, and balanced.

Lean too far forwards or backwards, and the end of the seesaw hits the ground, bounces, and throws you off-balance. 

You immediately correct your balance (a reaction to the situation) and try not to fall.

That correction is exactly how net zeros happen.

Fear takes over, you try everything you can, to try anything bad (or good) from happening to you. 

You’re protecting yourself from negative results, destroying any chances of success at the same time.

Truth is, if the bounce is bad enough, you’re thrown into the spaghetti arm wonder-dance of doom and may be forced to jump off the seesaw (quit).

Lean into the Problem

Instead of just maintaining balance, or being afraid, what if you deliberately put your weight back a little?

In preparation for this movement, you turn your back foot sideways to help your side-balance better. You put your arms out to help your balance shifting (distractions). Then, you shift your weight more towards your back foot.

As you shift your weight back, what’s in front of you (your future) lifts up. 

You can’t tip the balance too much, or it bottoms out, bounces, sends your arms into a spaghetti spiral of doom, and you to the bouncy rubber floor. The floor’s definitely lava, in this game.

To prevent the seesaw from bottoming out, you lean into it (go with the idea and stay with the plan). 

Lean forward just enough to change your center of gravity (tip the balance in your favor)

The front end (your immediate future) stays elevated. But the back end (what’s behind you) doesn’t ever bottom out or touch the ground. 

Doing this, the seesaw (life) won’t ever bounce back up again, bite you in the ass, and send you into a downward slope.

Your perfectly balanced, leaning in, with the seesaw tipped upwards, towards success. The better you get at this, the easier it becomes.

Life’s an Uphill Struggle

Life’s an uphill struggle, always. Tipping the balance of your life towards success, will mean facing an uphill battle.

But it doesn’t matter if you’re going uphill, or downhill.. …life’s still hard!

A life that’s going downhill fast is just as hard. It takes the same amount of effort, going in the wrong direction.

The third version is the one going nowhere, staying balanced, constantly making small corrections, to stay there.

And guess what? THAT one’s ALSO HARD.

So, CHOOSE YOUR HARD!

The uphill struggle is the only one that’s getting you out of there.

We’ve all seen the view from the bottom before…

…the view from the top is the only one ever worth seeing. And you don’t need to destroy, or kill off the real you to get there, either.

All you need to do is shift the balance a little bit in your favor, to make a huge difference in your life.

You only need to change it by about 2 degrees. 

I go into more detail about how to make a 2 degree change in your life, in another blog post, right here.

For now, let’s look at a way the real you and the true you can get along like a house on fire.

Finding a Passion / Obsession

There’s ONE more way of tipping the balance.

This one is the most transformational, and I’d even go as far as to say miraculous. It’s hard to do deliberately, although if it happens to you EVER, it’s the most life changing.

This one takes a little bit of good fortune, and sometimes a lot of searching. 

It’s when your whole universe collides, you find something you’re insanely passionate about, and become 100%, totally obsessed with it.

I’m talking MORE obsessed than 10-year-old boys are with video games and Marvel movies, type of obsessed.

When Passion Meets Obsession Discipline’s Not Needed

You won’t need discipline, because your ALWAYS motivated to do the thing you’re obsessed with. Everything in your life becomes about that one thing.

When passion meets motivation, there’s no need for discipline at all. I’ve been fortunate to have had this experience multiple times in my life.

One, where I became a pro skater, travelled the world, and achieved things I never dreamed a guy like me could ever possibly do. Such as landing my first ever McTwist in front of thousands of people at a halfpipe show or being on national TV winning a championship.

The other time this happened to me, I turned the change on my bedroom floor into a $300,000 per year business, with over 10,000 customers, doing something that was a fun hobby of mine, that I only tried once to keep a friend company. 

It was fun, I was hooked, and the rest was history.

If you ask me, it really was NEVER a job. Just 8 years of having a blast every day, until the party was ruined by a bad ‘business partner’.

Lesson learned, time to move on.

If you ever find a healthy obsession, something you become passionate about, go for it.

If you’ve ever wondered how you find something like that, here’s a blog post that has a few tips to help you find your passion.

Winning the Emotional Game

As you read through this article, you may have felt that the ‘true you’ is a bit of a nerd, or a workaholic. 

But there’s something about the true you, that the real you must understand.

It’s time to get real, with the real you.

The real you wants more money to spend, more parties, family time, vacations, and relaxation. 

If the true you succeeds, you’ll have all of those things and more.

If you have extra financial resources, you can do really awesome, nice things for other people. 

Doing Nice Things for Others

What if you were doing so well, you could help a relative in financial difficulty, or going through hard time? Being there for them, and helping them out, would feel great!

What about buying a birthday present for someone? Or, taking a friend for an awesome day trip somewhere, just because you know they’d absolutely love it?

Ever wanted to buy a new car? What about a new car for your husband or wife? Or even better still, for your son, daughter, or favorite nephew? 

What if your parents needed some help, and you were able to give back to them, or retire them permanently, in comfort?

Want to give to charity? You can’t if you’re stuck in a net zero, letting the real you go crazy every five minutes.

A trip to Vegas with a few good friends, just for the hell of it?

The real you would LOVE to do all these awesome things! But you can’t do any of those things if the real you is keeping your life balanced, helping you produce more net zeros.

When the real you has their way too often, there’s nothing left for you, or anyone at all.

End the War Between the True You and Real You Forever

Get the real you to buy in and understand the power the true you has. 

To deliver these things for the real you to enjoy, you must learn to trust the true you.

When the real you and the true you work together, and work shit out instead of fighting all the time, your life is going to get a LOT easier.

When you’re working hard, and things are right, the real you becomes the coach for the true you. 

The real you starts to remind you that this work will pay off, you can party your ass off, buy whatever you want, look great at the beach, or take a week off whenever you want to.

Learning to love yourself in this way, and trusting your instincts, takes time.

Often the emotional baggage, things left over from our youth, or bad things that bad friends and even well-intentioned people have said or done to us, tricked you into failing.

When you don’t allow yourself to win, you won’t.

Believe in your ability, and trust in the result. 

When the real you gets ‘on board’, you become unstoppable.

Winning the emotional game, and doing it all for you, is the REAL win, here.

So, decide what you want, and start tipping the scale, and start getting your desired result.

Not next week, not tomorrow.

Right now.

Let me Know How You’re Doing

If you found this article useful, hit me up, and let me know.

I sincerely want to help you win. 

So, if you have any questions about how this all works, or how it can be applied to YOUR life, let’s talk it over.

You can do this either in the comments below, shoot me an email, or hit me up on social.

I’ve helped many people in DM conversations, email exchanges, and even just chatting on the phone.

Let me know how it’s going for you, ask me questions, or even just give me a heads up on your thoughts so far.

We’re a community of success builders, doing it for ourselves, and the other ones around us.

I’d be insulted if you didn’t think that included you.

Speak soon,

Rick