What is Self-Esteem, and Why’s it So Important?
Self-Esteem is how you think and feel about yourself, but more importantly it’s how you value yourself.
Healthy self-esteem as a realistic, straight-forward opinion of yourself. When your self-esteem is high, you value yourself for who you are, and what you’re capable of. It also applies to achievements, maintaining good relationships, and personal satisfaction.
Generally, if you feel good about yourself, you’ve got a good amount of healthy self-esteem.
It’s not about motivation or drive, which is the ability pushing through something. It’s not even about confidence in your abilities. Self-esteem is about how you value your self-worth.
Your self-esteem is the amount of confidence you have in your own value as a human being.
The Dangers of Low Self-Esteem
Low self-esteem can make you negatively judge your abilities to do something well.
Left unattended, low self-esteem can lead people to feel depressed, fall short of their maximum potential, or even to tolerate abusive relationships and situations. If you don’t believe you should stand up for yourself, you won’t.
You reduce your belief in your own capabilities when you lack self-esteem. Maybe even convince yourself you can’t do something you’re perfectly capable of, or not to apply for that promotion you deserve.
We all go there sometimes, what’s important is not to allow it to linger, or spiral out of control.
So, if you find you’re feeling a little low on the self-esteem dial, try one of the following things, and you’ll be back to your old self again, or maybe even better than before.
1. Do Something Creative / Build Something
Find something creative to do.
Do an art project. Tie-dye some t-shirts or paint a picture. Buy a blank plant pot and paint a design onto it. Paint a wooden birdhouse, they’re fun to do! Check out the one I did with my daughter recently.
Why not redecorate, paint a room / wall in your house. You could re-arrange a room, so it works better, or just feels different.
Repaint the fence in your yard, do some yardwork, plant some new flowers.
Maybe put together a window-box, with some fresh herbs.
Build something. Make a bird table, put up a shelf, or do a DIY project.
Be creative, build something. Just do something with your hands.
2. Tidy Up an Area in Your Home
Tidy up or clean an area in your house / apartment. If you live with others, maybe clean your communal kitchen, or do the dishes for everyone.
Vacuum, clean, sweep, and take pride in doing an amazing job. Your goal is to look at what you did for the last hour or two and, feel proud of yourself.
If you tidy up or clean some part of your living environment, you get instant gratification, and a boost in self-esteem that lasts for several days.
Why not tackle that garage, and start working on organizing all that junk you have stored in there?
Once it’s done, you’ll feel great. This is especially true if it were something you’d been putting off doing.
You’ve accomplished something awesome!
Every time you walk through that room, or enter that room or space, you’ll continue to feel great about yourself.
3. Do Something Nice for Someone Else
Do you have a friend that’s going through hard times? Take them out for lunch, cheer them up, catch up on everything.
Someone you know that’s feeling down, depressed, or low on money? Buy them something thoughtful, they’ll appreciate, or maybe even just something that will make them laugh!
This can be anything at all. Even A movie or music they love. Or it could be an app for their phone they’ve always wanted, but are too afraid to ask anyone for.
Get them a gift card at their favorite coffee shop, so they can treat themselves when they’re feeling low (and make sure you go there with them, so you can get some coffee, too!).
No friends spring to mind? What about if you just went out for lunch somewhere, and bought the people behind you in line, their lunch, or pay the bill for the table next to you?
Buy a Homeless Person Lunch
Maybe just go to McDonalds, and buy 10 burgers, or the local donut store, and buy a dozen donuts, and just give them to random people that might like something tasty and delicious today.
A relative or friend that maybe is older, can’t get to do certain things, go over to their house, and help them out.
Near the holidays? Help a neighbor, or older friend put up their Christmas lights, or help them take them down.
Whatever it is just do something or make something nice (and thoughtful) for someone else, that you know they’d appreciate.
Doing nice things for other people, makes you feel great about yourself. Because you genuinely did something selfless for another human being.
4. Visit a Friend or Relative
Just like above, without knowing what might come of it, pay a friend or relative a visit.
Whether your friend lives close, or far away, make some time for them. You could even make it a surprise, if you know how to make that work.
Caring for others boosts your self-esteem. Make a habit to regularly visit and catch up.
Help them out if necessary. The goal of this one, is to simply to be a good friend, or relative (and to get all the good feelings that come along with it).
If there’s nobody you can think of nearby, call a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while. Why not make this a frequent act, to stay in better touch with them?
Being a good, valued friend makes you feel good.
5. Help Someone Out / Give to Someone in Need
If you see ANYONE that might need your help in ANY WAY, help them.
See someone broken down at the side of the road? Pull over, ask if they need any help at all.
Be a good Samaritan. Help a fellow human being.
Help a neighbor’s kid, or a relative with their school homework.
Is there someone you know, anyone at all, that might benefit from your help, either regularly, or just today?
See something miserable on the news? Think of a way you can help the situation.
Go help them out. It’ll do wonders for your self-esteem.
6. Learn A New Skill / Try Something Completely New
Whilst maybe not an instant fix, learning a new skill can be amazingly rewarding.
Nothing makes you feel greatest and confident in yourself, like learning something new.
Pick something with a degree of difficulty enough to be challenging. Without being so difficult you’ll only end up frustrated.
Try something new, that you’ve never tried in your life before.
Or go somewhere you’ve never yet been.
A brand-new experience could boost your self-esteem to overflowing as the creative, exciting parts of you get loose, and are out-to-the-races!
7. Mentor Someone / Teach Someone Something
Do you have a skill, or a hobby you enjoy, you could teach to someone else?
Teach the neighbor’s kid how to play guitar. Show your best friend’s son how to make the best paper airplanes. Green thumbs? Teach someone how to grow a plant or tend to their garden.
Do you skateboard? You could find and teach another skater a new trick, or help them improve their skills.
Play guitar? Show someone interested in playing, how to play one of their favorite songs.
Someone having problems with their SEO or content marketing on their website, and you’re a marketer? Roll up your sleeves and get stuck in with them. Teach them, show them, and help them.
Literally ANYTHING you could teach someone else, goes here.
There are MASSIVE rewards to your self-esteem to be had by teaching others and learning new things yourself.
Self-Esteem is Often Found in Service
You’ve probably noticed by now, that a lot of these boosts to self-esteem, come from being in service to others, or helping other people.
My interpretation is there’s a certain amount of selfishness to being selfless.
You get something from giving, too. This may seem like an underhand life-hack or a trick, but it’s a lot more complex than that.
Whilst doing such things DO boost your self-esteem, you ARE giving. It’s not completely selfish in ANY stretch of the imagination.
Giving ALWAYS feels good.
I guarantee it.
I don’t think I’ve ever given anything to anyone and felt selfish doing so.
So, let yourself off the hook. Get giving, and receive the personal rewards of feeling great about yourself.
Like I said at the beginning of this article…
“Your self-esteem is your amount of confidence you have in your own value as a human being.”
If you do something for someone that they value, and thanks you for, THEY value you.
Not only do you FEEL valuable, but YOU ARE VALUABLE!
You’ll get a huge boost in self-esteem, that lasts for days, weeks, months, or even years.
And all from giving something away or helping others.
The Personal Bank of Self-Esteem
If you’re unable to do anything for anyone directly in the moment, you can use memories of giving moments and selfless acts to boost your self-esteem.
Just like an emergency fund, you can withdraw these experiences to use later, to help you in your hour of need. Recall these moments, and instantly feel warm and fuzzy about yourself.
Here’s an exercise you can try that I use personally, to instantly boost my self-esteem ANY time I start to feel a little low.
Self-Esteem
Take a small piece of paper or write a list on the notes app of your smartphone.
Write a list of 10 or more selfless acts or giving moments you remember from your life. The ones you’re proud of, that made you feel good, or that the recipient absolutely loved or enjoyed.
If there aren’t 10, add some art projects, decorating, tidying, cleaning, or something creative you were extremely proud of.
When you’ve written the list, read the list out loud, one experience at a time, and relive that moment.
Really lean into this one.
Remember how you felt, how the person valued what you did for them. Can you remember how proud you felt landing that trick on your skateboard for the first time? What about the time you helped your aunt put up her Christmas tree?
When you’re done reading the list, you’ll instantly feel highly valued, generous, and feel an instant boost of self-esteem.
If you can do great things for other people, you’re a valuable, wonderful person, and have every right to remember that.
Whenever you feel low on self-esteem, simply pull out the list. Or, write out a brand new one, and read it.
It works, every single time!
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